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Trying To Survive

Sometimes stormy days.

Aren’t followed by sunny days.

It feels like the rain will never stop.

Other times you get a string of sunny days.

That seem like they’ll never go away.

Like it’ll never rain again.

Both feel real, pervasive, even infinite.

This is life.

You know this as well as I do.

The ups and downs.

The twists and turns.

They never end.

But we’re not told that.

No, we’re told to take advantage of each day.

To make the most of it!

Don’t waste one single second!

Work harder!

Life is short, damnit!

But… tell that to the single mother, piled under credit card debt.

Who just lost her second job.

The job that kept a roof over her kids’ heads.

Tell that to someone who just lost a loved one.

And couldn’t say goodbye.

Or to the lonely kid who’s had crippling anxiety his entire life.

Who can’t fathom what life looks like without it.

We’re told that it’s our fault.

Our job, our responsibility.


When in times like this, what we all just need...

Is the permission to survive.

Fuck thriving.

You can’t dance in a perfect storm.

When everything is falling apart.

Sometimes, you just have to hold onto whatever you can grab.

Find some shelter.

Scream for help.

Huddle with the ones you love.

We don’t need to pretend that life is amazing all the time.

Sometimes it rains.

Sometimes it pours.

Sometimes it’s a fucking hurricane out here.

That’s okay.

You don’t need to feel guilty if you’re not on top of your game right now.

If your immediate response isn’t to smile and make the most of it.

These times are a great reminder.

That it’s okay to not be okay.

Every human on the planet has had their life impacted by this pandemic.

Some have been hit far harder than others.

And will continue to be.

But we are all connected by the struggle.

By the mere fact that we are in survival mode.

For however a brief or long period.

Someday (hopefully soon) the tides will calm again.

The clouds will part.

The sun will peek back out.

And when it does, we’ll be so ecstatic

That we hoped.

That we held on.

No matter what the world told us.

No matter how much heartbreak we faced apart.

No matter what the voices in our heads told us.

We stayed the course.

We stuck with it.

And we weathered the storm…





PS - Kate Ward, my dear friend and Yes Theory manager, is an incredible writer who helps me revise these newsletters. Please send her some love on her Instagram if you have a second. 

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  • Hi,
    I just wanted to thank you for writing this letter. I’m a senior I’m supposed to be graduating from high school and I had everything planned but nothing is going according to plan anymore. It’s been a hard couple of days and the letter really help me to calm myself down.

    So thank you.



    Debbie on
  • Hello dear Seeker team and Matt,

    My name is Ivan. I am 21 and I’m from Bulgaria. The letter you wrote completely made my day, my week even.

    As you said yourself, the events are bringing out some of our worst fears. Whether you survive, when this whole thing will be over are questions everybody is asking, but nobody has an answer to. And that’s terrifying. But communities like this one, people like you guys, make it easier and give hope to all of us, your followers.

    Thanks you once again. Stay well and keep inspiring.

    -A fellow seeker

    A fell

    Ivan Panayotov on

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