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What The F*Ck Is Wrong With Me

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There is a seed to every flower.

A heart to every human.

Something so deep within every being.

That is who we truly are.

That begs to be seen.

But in most of us, it’s been covered up.

Usually by traumatic experiences.

It could be the bullying you experienced.

The death of a loved one.

The culture you grew up in that you felt never really accepted you.

Whatever it is, these painful experiences covered up your seed.

They buried it deep in sand.

And at some point, you started believing that you were your traumatic experiences.

You began identifying with the bad things that have happened to you.

You confused yourself with everything unfolding externally.

And you forgot that, at your core, you are the seed.

So you neglected watering it.

Until one day you could no longer get out of bed.

You got pissed off at nothing.

You had forgotten how to feel. 

And you asked… What the f*** is wrong with me? 

We all arrive there at some point.

And that’s when we think all hope is lost.

But it’s not.

Because here’s the beautiful part.

The seed never goes away.

Until the day we die, it’s there.

Waiting for us to pay attention.

Waiting for us to shine light and shed water on it.

Once we understand that we are not the bad things that happened to us.

That we have always been this seed.

We can act out of a place of truth.

Of love.

We can make decisions that are right for us because we know who we are.

But first, we must be willing to dive into the difficult. 

To dig deep into the sands of time and uncover what we’ve hidden.

To reveal who we really are.

That is the deepest discomfort we all must seek.


Love,

Matt

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