How To Be Attractive

For most of my adolescent life, I struggled with attracting women.

I’d be too shy to ask girls out.

I’d act cooler than I was to try to get their attention.

I’d let my insecurities get the best of me.

So eventually, I decided to figure why it was so difficult.

I spoke with female friends.

I read books on the topic.

I analyzed what I’d done wrong in the past.

And soon enough, I realized something that profoundly changed my life...

I was needy.

For so long I’d been doing things specifically to impress women.

I’d learned Wonderwall on the guitar thinking girls would be mesmerized.

I’d work out five days a week to look good in my tight shirt.

I’d say exactly what I thought girls wanted to hear.

But the problem with all of that was that my focus was external.

I was seeking validation from others.

And the needier I was, the less attractive I became.

Yet the opposite was true as well.

Anytime I was non-needy, everything suddenly fell into place.

And there was the glaring formula.

Non-neediness = attractiveness. 

Non-neediness means placing higher priority on your own perception of yourself, rather than what people think. 

It means doing things that you truly enjoy, rather than doing them to impress others. 

It means unapologetically expressing how you feel, rather than saying what someone wants to hear. 

It means being openly vulnerable and comfortable with your flaws, rather than putting on a cool facade. 

Ask yourself this…

What makes you happy? 

Do that.

What do you truly think? 

Say that.

Who makes you feel good? 

Spend time with that person.

No pick-up lines necessary.

No showman performances.

No Wonderwall on the guitar.

No neediness needed.

Just you.

Your self-respect.

Your self-improvement.

And your self-love.

Love,

Matt